bi-polar entry from a manic depressive city (los angeles)
by: LosAngelesProseur
i wrote the proceeding list before I wrote this prelude. When I was done typing it out, I read it and found myself feeling somewhat empty. As far as internet dating is concerned, craigslist is the bottom of the barrel. So, then who is the true asshole? The craigslist poster who is expected to come off as a [somewhat?] un:educated/attractive/interesting/popular/cool individual OR the craigslist voyeur who holds herself above the lives of these virtual personalities yet continues to scrutinize and examine the nooks and crannies of each and every post – pressing the refresh button on her window’s browser frequently to see if anything new has popped up in the last 12 and a half minutes – and still can’t manage to get a date because she refuses to lower herself to ‘these people’s’ level?
Read the rest of this entry »
Want to Be My Boyfriend? Please Define
The NYTimes Sunday Styles winning essay in a nationwide contest was contributed by a girl we know. The task at hand was for college students to write about what real love was like for them. Published May 4, 2008. I’m also posting it below… just another way we aim to accomodate here at CraigslistDisslist. Read the rest of this entry »
bee stung. (Des Moines)
I saw the beginning of NY Vixen’s post and felt compelled to blog it up also. I purposely didn’t read her blog to make sure my ideas were my own, but if I repeat any of her sentiments, well, that is why we are friends. We GET things about one another. With that said, it will probably be completely different, just like our taste in men (HALLELUJAH!).
I have to say that I feel more confused right now than (possibly) ever before. A year out of a marriage, a recent heartache and living in a city I don’t fit into has made my typically strong root structure shrivel. The man that told me I needed to be dating other people, which set this whole blogging shebang in motion, is not in love with me and is clear he won’t fall in love with me when there are 1000 miles between us. That is his will. He is right in that I have to focus on setting up shop in DM. I just don’t want to, like a 6 year old in the toy store, stomping my feet, I don’t want to. I don’t see my place here, don’t see how I fit and holding onto him is like blowing kisses into smoky air. The sentiment is sweet, but the intended destination is obscured. Read the rest of this entry »
Standard Initial Email to All (New York)
I wrote seven guys. I said essentially the same thing to each, dropping lines tailored to each guy. I kept it light, and included a picture to be fair, since I only emailed guys who’d put their picture up. I was flirty, but not too desperate. I heard back from six of them. And that’s where things started getting a bit hairy.
get me in touch with this guy. immediately. (los angeles)
by: LosAngelesProseur
well, my search continues. i might have found a winner. whowuddathunkit?! (sarcasm? readable?…)
******
i am a mess – 23 (los angeles)
Reply to: pers-691355620@craigslist.org
Date: 2008-05-22, 4:21PM PDT
i am looking for an alcoholic woman in her late twenties or early thirties. i want someone who understands what it is like to just want to be left alone. i don’t want to endanger others i just want to drink, have sex, and talk. is that too much to ask for? i am college educated, handsome, but i suffer from depression. i am not a catch but i am interesting…fascinating maybe. email me if you know what this feels like. lets get drunk and try to figure things out. no bullshit
Trolling the Ads (New York)
Looking for a suitable date on Craigslist is not an easy task. It requires patience and dedication, much like shopping in a thrift store. When one shops among used clothing, there is the understanding that there will be many moth-eaten sweaters and wonky fits of dresses to sift through before the perfect item is found. And even then, since it’s an item that’s already been worn you’re dealing with, you must treat the item with care and patience to get it in a good enough condition to actually wear. Such is the case when looking through these ads.
junk mail filters are beautiful things (Des Moines)
I was cleaning out my junk mailbox today and realized there were a couple responses to my original CL ad in there. Intrigued at my own ‘missed connections,’ I (metaphorically) ripped those suckas open.
First response entitled ‘wanna talk?’ led off with this gem: “Hi, seen your ad , was hoping i get to talk to you, I’m a collage student”… SEEN your ad… I’m a collAge student.
I edit grammar, spelling and function constantly. I don’t mean to, my brain just exists in that mode. Incorrect things flash neon and pour ice water on my soul until I fix them. But when I helpfully offer pointers to the offender, their eyes spit knives into my sweetness and well, let’s just say this ability has never been considered a sexy hot trait of mine. I have tried to temper my mouth, but… ok, anyway. When making a first impression with the written language, Kids, let’s try to use correct tense and spell check. They are our friends.
If that is too much attention to detail to request, my natural fear is that he will pay the same level attention to my hoo-ha. Read the rest of this entry »
walking with my credit card in the air, but i can’t get a date?!…(los angeles)
by: LosAngelesProseur
Dating in LA isn’t hard. It’s super easy if you like boys in dior sunglasses and 80 dollar t-shirts with unnecessary Chinese dragon graffiti ‘art’ plastered all over them. It’s even easier if you want to date a boy who is in a shitty rock ‘band’ with a messenger cap, painted on jeans and an eating disorder. No, it’s not hard at all. It’s just impossible to do if you have standards.
I don’t even think I’m snobbish, per se, I would just like to go on a date that comes with a normal – symmetrical – haircut and without hectic and embroidered back jean pockets. Is that even considered a ’standard’? I always just thought that was using my fucking common sense. Then again, I WAS raised outside of Berkeley which, simply translated, means I speak a different language than many a dweller down here. With words that include ‘nature,’ ‘trees,’ and ‘hillary clinton,’ my vocabulary tends to leave your typical los angeleno with a facial expression that resembles a look you’d find on a confused rehab patient with two days off of various analgesic drugs.
Not ONCE have I responded to a personal ad on craigslist. considering how much time i spend on that vortex of a website, the latter statement appears to be one so implausible that it’s up there with the almost trite “I never do this on a first date” lie that some way too hot drunk chick tells you as she unbuttons your pants (while one hand is tied behind her back and the other is texting her friend) and gives you the best blow job you’ve ever had. Just an FYI, fellas – as a general rule, all girls who give great head on the first date are liars and will definitely do one of two things:
1. break your heart.
2. sleep with a stuffed animal on their bed.
Not me, though. I never give good head on the first date. only horrific head. the part of me that needs therapy truly believes that using my teeth shows how honest i am and that i will make a really great mother someday.
ANYWAY, Read the rest of this entry »
bait the date. (des moines)
So this friend of mine is always praising the virtues of Craigslist. She likes Missed Connections and sometimes does the odd dating ad with fair to blah success. I was told recently to go on a date, which is much easier said than done in my present townage. Apparently, tattoos and such are saved for the drunk whore section of town and the fact that I don’t drink confuses the masses. The sober folks here are totally lovely… they are just 15-20 years older than me. So I did it. I took out a Craigslist ad. I sent it to a couple of my friends who had a great laugh at my expense. They decided that the facts I listed were true enough and I posted it. Then, I sat back to revel in the responses.
There was the fellow who responded with the only photograph on his work computer. He was standing in the back of his pickup truck dressed in blaze orange, holding up his newly killed buck.
There was the couple that thought I sounded fun and that wifey thought she could be “into” me.
There was the guy who said he was a “one woman man” and he wanted his lady to be the same. Then, I noticed the email was in response to 6 different ads. Read the rest of this entry »
